Didn't That Mouth Come With Volume Control?

You know who you are and you need to pipe down, the cacophony that is the public square is becoming unbearable.  No, I'm not referring opinions being disseminated on the Intertoobs, I'm referring to the teeming masses that have become the screaming masses.

Some requests, if I may:

via Retronaut.co

• The rest of us don’t care to hear your portion of a cell phone conversation. The microphone is an inch from your mouth – don’t worry, they can hear you all too well at the other end. 
• There’s something called “conversational tone” which is to be used when having a conversation – practice it. Stop shouting! That person to whom you’re speaking can hear you – I’m 30 feet away and I can hear you, and it’s not at all interesting. 
• Your children, they’re adorable. They can also shriek in frequencies and volumes that, if used on POWs, would be a war crime. You have probably long since tuned out their annoying and alarming squeal, but we haven’t. The most important part of parenting is socialization and no, that has nothing to do with Obama administration’s approach to just about everything. 
• Stop shouting across the store to get someone’s attention unless there’s some sort of emergency, or that screaming banshee of a child is wandering off. As an ancillary to that would be to please stop carrying on conversations with people halfway across the room in a public space - walk over and talk to them, we can all use a bit of exercise, no?